mannequin

I will no longer be writting in this Journal. I am a New person and this Journal is too childish for me now.

If anyone wants to follow up on me

This is my new Journal.

http://cinnamon-shops.livejournal.com/profile


There's lots to tell<3

Goodbye.

I want to be a new person.

I'm GOING to be a better person, its all me from now on.

and all about ME

I'm 20 on thursday.

goodbye teen years, you've been wild to me.
beyond joy and grief those memories are dead to me.


I'm slowly molting and growing a stronger shell each day
and my chest will remain soft.

I have many gifts and its time to use them....
He loves me, more than anything that I know. Despite everything.. I love him just as much.


I've made him the happiest he's ever been, no woman will ever compare to me; he has said.

no one...

The little goth girl in me is screaming to see this!

Ogre from Skinny puppy is acting in it.
Also Paris Hilton who plays "Amber Sweet"...well I'm not going to judge her based on this clip. I'll wait til I see it on the big screen. Sarah Brightman is "Blind Mag" a singer, and that cute little Spy Kids star "Alexa Vega" is the main character.

I want the soundtrack!

Are we still married
Are we still?
I'm kinda getting shot at
I'm kinda getting hurt
I'm tired of all the blood dear
I'm tired of getting hurt
In pieces unfamiliar
It shatters all the world
Crashing down moments
Will this tear us in two?

this song best describes me, almost exactly.

In Paris and in Rome
And in places far from home
From the mountains to the sea
To wherever the road my lead
I wonder where you'll go
Will the sun shine as you go?
There's all the World, you know
Just beyond the worlds we know
Don't be lonely now
If you can try to be brave
Maybe the sun will come back
To wash your tears away

In Paris and in Rome
And wherevery you may roam
From the mountains to the sea
To wherever the road my lead
I wonder where you'll go
Will the sun shine as you go?
There's all the World you know
Just beyond the worlds we know

And I'll always remember
The things that we said
And the things that we dreamed
And the world we nearly had

When is carnivorous El Paso going to realize that vegetarians&vegans, need a place to eat?!

cruel free!

Organic maybe pushing it for this cheap city,
but at least now a veggie/vegan diner would probably hit it off very well.

El Paso has many vegetarians and vegans!!


Ugh, this city has poor food choices.

5 more months in this shitty city.


p.s. We went to see Dark Knight for the second time, and It was still pretty awesome. After-wards we ran from the rain. It was fun.

I'm almost done packing, we leave at 1:00 p.m.

I won't be back til the 28th.

We're going to Pitchfork on Sat&Sun!

-IMAX tickets to Dark Knight on tuesday at Navy Pier!
-Tickets Chicago Cubbies Game on the 24th!




I'm so EXCITED!

I'm back again.

thank GOD!

SO due Ingrid's request and my love for multiple blogs, I guess I will write on both my blogs.
Its quite cold outside and I just finished smoking a ciggarette.
I'm worried that I might become addicted again.
Also I just had this radom thought about myself getting shot.
Imagined my life coming to an immediate end... and I wonder how long will it take before everyone forgets about me.
I try to keep Enrike in my thoughts as much as I can. I really miss him. He would be able to tell me how to deal with my life and invite me out for a couple of birrias.
We would listen to Enrique Bunbury (a spanish living-Jim Morrison)y a Heroes del Silencio.
Everytime I listen to our favorite song "El Jinete". I burst in tears and I can control myself.
I wish I could have hung out with him more...
I know I'll never hear his voice again but the thought of him will always linger within me.

death comes un-invited just like love.

we don't go looking for death, but it finds us
we don't go looking for love, it finds us

both are painful
both end someday

I'll keep my fluttering chest warm and my skeleton positioned.

I wonder when I'll feel the pain of death.
I wonder what went through enrike's head as his eyes closed.
I remember calling his phone after he died, I was drunk and I wanted to hear his voicemail.

just his voice once more....

life is so fragile
one day we are breathing
the next our vessels rot and our sockets are a new home for worms.

Which makes me a bit un-easy.
I want to live to be a thousand, but sometimes I feel I've lived enough.

I think its time again to go back to warm_whisper

my other lj.

Goodbye!

be bold

be bold

be bold


There's change a comin'

p.s. I'm getting crafty again and making things!!

stayed off the sauce for almost 3 weeks now, but Caribou and Fuck buttons are tonight!
They are both amazing bands

oh by the way! I have a soft skeleton for German Industrial musik!

COMBICHRIST is COMING!!!


I have an e bloggler now, so everyone who has one, please feel freely to add me.
I'll try to write my thoughts in a more articulate way.


http://tempestofthoughts.blogspot.com/

"some lovers wake one day

to a stone wall in the way

-I should be free to choose-

mutually acuse.

The rest is years to tell:

Domestic hell."

despite all the ups and downs of our relationship, we have survived so much.

Here ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are in love.

I'm in heaven.

I've never felt this way about anyone, our time is blissful.

He's the best boyfriend/lover I've ever had.

god, I love Reuben and he loves ME!

I found love

and its about damn time!

I have a desperate need to leave El Paso...
I feel trapped. I feel like I'm a giant MAZE, and I can't rummage myself about.

But do I know what I want?
absolutely not, but I know its not here.

I want to collect all my thoughts and find some meaning within myself.
I feel like a vessel; nothing more, I have feelings but there frozen somewhere... I feel so

dispondent

I'm sad that I don't realize how others feel, maybe I am too cold.

But, I realized that maybe its a good thing that nothing softens me.

Come to think of it, I still don't believe I can fall in love again,
nothing seems to work with me

But I'll give it another chance
I have to weigh out a person so that I can trust myself to let him in,
even though I may have Fucked everything up already

I'm a broken toy
heart skinned and shattered.

maybe the heavily abusement of medications got me this way.
I was on many many meds as a Kind (child)
fuck, I don't know... maybe my problem is rooted deeper
nesting in the bowels of my being

how can one human go through all this?

I make an effort to understand, yet nothing but confusement stikes me like lightning.

If I ever meet someone like me I'll go fucking nuts.

I'm a burden, a Fun one none the less but you can't kick a puppy for being bad right?

well I'm going to watch a Film "lolita".

Not going out tonight,

(insert gasp)

I know, I'm always about the town from thurs. to sat. and sometimes everyday

oh, my mom found my mary jane and papers and she confronted me about it ha, she said that I should quit and I'm like okey dokey

but I'm so not, I'll never quit.

she picked me off from the bathroom floor last night,
how nice her, may god bless her heart.

well p.s. here it comes

P.S. Reuben and me are doing well, still together none the less
I'm happy, I just wish I could see him more often.

still partying but going to slow down after 14th,

I know,I know, that I'm awesome to party with, But this Mama needs some downtime.

My life is extremely crazy like way too much to digest.

g'night you sheep shaggers

I tried absinth for the first time.

I was just feeling really funny and the colors were a bit different.
tastes allright, kind of strong like-pepermint schnapps.
Also I felt really tiddly tingly.
hella expensivo; como $9 clams a shot.


heres some pics










the cops almost took my boyfriend hahaha, It was a scary nighttt.
with what we spent, we could have bought a bottle.

what a a waterloooo.

this young man asked me to be his "paramour"

and I; accepted.

happy new years everyone!

I'll write a year in review later.

but for now the best thing to have happened this year




this little boy<33

yasmin took it at le disko!